I recently attended Pantheacon in San Jose, CA (http://pantheacon.com/wordpress). Pantheacon is a large pagan gathering filled with 3 days of workshops, hospitality rooms, fellowship, merchandise, and the occasional bizarreness, well maybe a little more than occasional. People are very excited to be there and revel in their uniqueness. The big names in paganism attend as well which helps to attract large amounts of people.
I attended the event with my Sosyete, Fos Fe Yo We. We honored the lwa, Danbala in a mini-sevis. Our Mami, Mambo T, presented a lecture on Vodou. I also assisted at a ritual dedicated to the ancestors and honoring Wesir. I also attended several other workshops, such as an introduction to Santeria, ritual in honor of Freyr, and an oracular seidh. I got a nice eclectic mix of practices I observed and have a better understanding of them.
One thing I did notice while I was at Pantheacon is the specific topic of this blog. I know this is true of so many, but there seems to be a thirst there – a deep need for something more. They are seeking something outside of themselves to fulfill this need and thirst. Many still do not know what it is, some have an idea. I intellectual know and understand this, but once the profound numbers of these people hit my mind it made me realize something very, very important about myself.
I am extremely lucky.
You see, I am at a place spiritually where I am happy and content. I know what I believe, I understand my place in the world as a spiritual being, and I am comfortable in my practices. I am in a good place. I am not saying this to gloat and declare I am spiritually beyond others. What I am saying is, sometimes it is okay and right to just be where you are at, and be that completely.
I recently spoke to a dear spiritual sister about our work we dedicate to our gods. She was speaking about sometimes not feeling her mother’s presence and worries about this. This is a very valid concern for many. I spoke to her about my own similar experiences. Sometimes it is hard to go through a spiritual routine when we feel like we are not getting anything out of it.
We all seek that spiritual high, that ecstatic state of divine union. It’s a good feeling isn’t it? Knowing God is there so completely and that He wants to be with you. It is awesome! Unfortunately if we continue to always seek the highs, just like with real drugs we start to build a tolerance. We need new and better highs. We need the latest thing. This I think is part of the issue with these individuals seeking something and not knowing what they are looking for. It can best be summed up by the song from U2:
“I have kissed honey lips
Felt the healing in her fingertips
It burned like fire
This burning desire
I have spoke with the tongue of angels
I have held the hand of a devil
It was warm in the night
I was cold as a stone
But I still haven’t found what I’m looking for”
Take a moment. Look where you are at spiritually. You are in a good place. You know where you are. Sometimes even your spiritual life can be mundane. The Catholic saint, Theresa of Lisieux, approached god like this. She was a small nun living in a small convent with the great desire to become a saint. She knew she would never be able to match the heroics of St Joan of Arc or be like the martyrs, so she chose to find God in the small and mundane. She did this by listening to her superiors, cleaning the choir loft, assisting the elderly nuns, and loving everyone like they were God. She did this by accepting who she was and where she was in life. By doing this, in the end she rose to great heights and was able to accomplish what she wanted.
We are not all saints, many of us not even close. But we can find meaning in who we are and what are relationship with the divine is right now. After all that is what spirituality is. It is an understanding of who we are and how this interacts with the Divine. Each one of us has the spark of God. It is what gives us life. Embrace it and find comfort in it
You don’t have to move mountains. It is okay just to sit there and gaze on the beauty and be present.