Tonight I sit in a dark room. It is very quiet. I can hear the furnace blowing air. I hear the dog breathing. I can hear the tapping of this keyboard. Even in silence I can find sound. So what could it be like to be in total silence? When death overcomes us, and there is overwhelming silence.
I have been thinking a lot recently about my own death. I used to say to myself I wasn’t frightened of death, and in some ways I am not. I am faced with it frequently in my line of work. I see death slowly take over people, witness it visit, and assist with helping others with the pain. But my own death….
I will die. I will stop breathing. My heart will not beat. My limbs will become cold. I will not see. I will not hear. I will be gone from this world. And sometimes I ask myself if anyone would notice. It is not that I want to make a huge mark on this world, and want people flocking to me telling me how much they love me, because I don’t. When I am gone what will there be left of me?
I leave behind no children. I have not done anything to make history books. But what I can leave behind is much greater. What I leave behind is the spirit of who I am. I am the man who gave of himself to those he cared about. I am the man who believed in something far greater than he could be. I am a man who loved his family from the depths of his heart. I am the man who’s strength comes from within.
In many ways I am like Wesir, and He is who I aspire to be. Did Wesir fear death? His death did not bring salvation or enlightenment. His death wasn’t a sacrifice for wrongdoings. His sacrifice was for His people. He gave up life. He gave up ever seeing His own child. He even braved Aset’s anger at Him for leaving Her alone. He gave up a lot.
Sometimes giving can hurt. Sometimes we don’t want to go outside our comfort zones. But I struggle to be like the Good God, and I will give of myself. Sometimes it is painful, but the more often it is done, the less it hurts. And the closer I share in the god’s vision.
Tonight, sit in silence and think, “what is it Wesir is asking from me?” Maybe it is telling someone you are thinking about them and here for them. Maybe volunteering for those less fortunate. Or maybe He wants you to stand up for what you feel you must do and to fully live.
May the Lord of Silence whisper to your hearts this night.